Another Day

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Lucky Clover (a true story)

This is Amy. She is a first grader in Mrs. Booker's class.

When the class finished reading books that year, each student returned their books to Mrs. Booker

A few days later, Mrs. Booker couldn't find Amy's reading book. She said Amy must not have turned it in.

Amy knew she turned in her book. Where could it be? How could it be found? Amy was worried.

At recess the next day, Amy was looking for four leaf clovers.

There it was! Amy found her first four leaf clover EVER! She was thrilled.

Amy would have good luck now. She would make a wish.

Amy wished that Mrs. Booker would find her reading book.

A few days later, Mrs. Booker told Amy that she had, indeed, found her book. It had only been misplaced.

Amy's clover HAD been lucky. Her wish had come true.

From then on, Amy always looked for four leaf clovers. And she always had good luck.

The End.


(Wishing you the luck of the Irish this St. Patrick's Day and all other days too)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Balancing Sympathy, Empathy, and Apathy

Sympathy: sharing the feelings of another, commiseration, "feeling their pain"

Empathy: understanding someone else's situation, having compassion, caring but without emotion

Apathy: lack of interest or concern, lack of emotion about the situation

So times are tough, no doubt. I don't know if it just a sign of the times or that I'm forty and now I get to see all the adult problems of the world. But, I can't tell you how many folks I know who are going through major hard times. I have people I love and care about losing jobs. Others with marital issues. Several with significant medical problems and struggles. And who doesn't know someone who isn't feeling the money crunch. Truthfully, on paper things look pretty grim at times. How do we keep from getting emotionally drained with all that's happening in our world right now? How do we not only see the negatives? Thus is the question I'm asking myself: how do I balance Sympathy, Empathy, and Apathy?

As I analyze the three choices I realize that while sympathy is wonderful and hard to avoid when you really love folks who are suffering, it can be emotionally draining. Especially with ongoing problems. It can make me see life like Eeyore with a rain cloud over my head.

Apathy for me just isn't much of a choice. To not care about people or their issues just doesn't feel right. Somehow, having no concern for things like I'm seeing seems self-preserving and ultimately selfish. Who could be so separated and cold?

So that leaves me with Empathy. In pharmacy school they taught us about having empathy for our patients..."caring without the emotion" they said. So I try to practice empathy with the problems I see folks living today. But, can I really have true caring without some emotion? For me "having compassion" means feeling their experience on a personal level. Plus, can you ever really have empathy only when it involves people you love? So empathy seems like the way to go...but can I do it? Can I "care" but not "feel"??